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Vice President Gore, before President Palin sent him to Guantanamo
Bay, was explaining that this was an effect of man made climate
change. President Palin said that it was the commencement of the
Reckoning. Which she claimed gave her cause to suspend Habeus Corpus,
and imprison, among others, Presidents Carter, Clinton and Obama, Vice
Presidents Mondale, Gore and Biden, Levi Johnston and Tina Fey.
This was the first Thanksgiving since the alleged Reckoning.
President Palin never really explained how folk like Harvey, who
retained his Judaism, were still alive. Harvey was not permitted,
being under house arrest to attend the parade down Central Park West,
but he would watch it on the only television station that
Murdoch-Time-Warner cable carried, Fox News.
The Parade hosted by Lou Dobbs and Michele Malkin would commence on
Father Coughlin Boulevard, formerly known as Central Park West, at the
former Museum of Natural History, now known to all as The Museum of
Intelligent Design. The former occupants of the Museum lost funding
and hence, the Museum was forced to close, when they refused to follow
Chief Justice Ann Coulter decision that it must give equal space to
creationism.
Vice President Limbaugh, as Grand Marshall of the parade rides the
first float. The float is adorned with pictures of the Vice
President, in full regalia, crossing The Delaware, charging up San
Juan Hill and eating a Hoagie. In the rear of the float sits Mr.
Limbaugh upon his elevated chair. The chair, statutorily is elevated
above all other structures in t he parade.
Next is the first balloon. This balloon of Vice President Dick
Cheney, is making it’s first appearance in the parade. Vice President Cheney, whose likeness was recently carved into Mt. Rushmore, could not attend the Parade. It is believed, that he is preparing a speech in favor of making Nixon's birthday a national holiday.
This float is followed by the first family. They, of course, are singing their traditional holiday song, "You're having my baby. "
Harvey can't believe what he is watching. He knew that life would change in a Palin administration.
Suddenly Harvey is disturbed by a loud noise. It has all been a dream. Sarah Palin is not President. She is in Alaska with her family.
Oh, there's No Place Like Nome.
Secret Service Agent: Mr. President, the cabinet awaits you.
Bush: I hope that I get this right.
Cheney: All you have to remember is where we store the bombs.
Bush: What?
Cheney: Listen. The WMDs that we are placing in Baghdad is in one of the tunnels.
Bush: Which one?
Cheney: The one with a funnel.
Bush: The tunnel with a funnel?
Cheney: Yes. But you don't want the tunnel with the funnel, you want the silo from Cairo!
Bush: I-I don't want the tunnel with the funnel, I want the silo from what?
Rumsfeld: The silo from Cairo!
Bush: Hm?
Cheney: It's a little silo we have buried in Cairo.
Bush: Th-the silo from Cairo have the arms and the bombs?
Cheney: No, the arms and the bombs are in the tunnel with the funnel.
Bush: Oh, oh, the funnel with the tunnel.
Rumsfeld: The tunnel with the funnel.
Bush: What about Cairo from the silo?
Cheney: Not Cairo from the silo! The silo from Cairo!
Bush: Where's the arms and the bombs?
Cheney: In the tunnel with the funnel!
Rumsfeld: Don't you see? The arms and the bombs are in the tunnel with the funnel.
Cheney: The silo from Cairo has the scuds that is duds!
Rumsfeld: It's so easy, I can say it!
Bush: Well then you tell them!
Cheney: Listen carefully. The arms and the bombs are in the tunnel with the funnel, the silo from Cairo has the scuds that are duds.
Bush: The arms and the bombs are in the tunnel with the funnel, the silo from Cairo has the scuds that are duds.
Rumsfeld: Good man!
Cheney: Just remember that.
Secret Service Agent: Mr. President, The cabinet is waiting.
Bush: The arms and the bombs... the arms and the bombs are in the tunnel with the funnel, the silo from Cairo has the duds that are scuds. Eh... scuds that are duds- The arms and the bombs in the tunnel with the funnel, the silo from Cairo has the duds that are scuds. Eh, eh, scuds that are duds. Eh. The barns with the fun-eh, eh, Cairo with the...
Secret Service Agent: Mr, President.
Bush: The funnel with t... the arms and the bombs in the tunnel with the funnel, Cairo from the silo has the scuds that are suds. Eh, no... The arms and the bombs in the tunnel with the funnel. The silo, with the pyro from Cairo... the pyro with the silo is in the tunnel called the Chunnel. Eh, the Chunnel cross the Channel, Eh, the the bless... The tunnel cross the Channel with the funnel....
Secret Service Agent (interrupting): Come along, Mr. President. His majesty is waiting.
Bush: The funnel in the Channel.
Secret Service Agent: This way, Mr. President.
Bush: (Muttering "arms and the bombs") Thank you.
Bush: The arms with the bombs from silo from Cairo.
Bush: I've got it! I've got it. The arms and the bombs in the tunnel with the funnel, the silo from Cairo has the scuds that are duds, right?
Cheney: Right. But there's been a change. They broke the silo from Cairo.
Bush: They broke the silo from Cairo?
Cheney: And replaced it with a well.
Bush: Well.
Cheney: With a bad smell.
Bush: Well with a smell.
Cheney: Right.
Bush: Did you put the arms and the bombs in the tunnel with the funnel?
Cheney: No! The arms and the bombs in the well with the smell, the tunnel with the funnel has the scuds that are duds!
Bush: The arms and the bombs in the well with the smell, the tunnel with the funnel has the scuds that is duds.
Cheney: Just remember that.
Bush: Yes, thank you very much. The Chunnel cross the Channel eh... the arms and the bombs are in the silo from Cairo. Eh, just remember that.
Rice: Beware of what you say. They’ve moved some of the bombs.
Bush: Moved! Are you sure?
Rice: I heard Cheney.
Bush: The Chunnel with the tunnel is the scuds... eh...
Bush: The arms and the bombs in the well with the smell, the funnel in the Chun...The tunnel cross the chan....
Rice: No, no, no...
Bush: The arms and the bombs are in the silo with the... he he (laughs nervously)
Rice: ...Tunnel with the funnel.
Bush: The tunnel with the funnel has the scuds that are duds.
Rice: Right. Don't forget it.
Bush (mutters): Cairo with the smell... no, no, no.
Bush: The arms with the funnel are in the scuds with the silo.
Bush: The poison's in the smell with the funnel.
Bush: Eh, ah, the flannel is in the channel with the silo with the...
Bush: The Bombs with the smell in the funnel with ....
Rice: The arms and the bombs in the well with the smell!
Bush: The tunnel with the funnel has the scuds that are duds!
Rice: Oh, no, you've got the wrong one!
Bush: If I get this wrong, remember I did it bravely.
Cheney: You'll not get it wrong. It doesn’t matter what you say.
http://www.baseball-almanac.com/hum
Theme Song
Palins, meet the Palins,
They're a great American family
From Wasila, Alaska,
They're rewriting History.
Let's go watch the Russians from down the street,
Or shoot a Moose from up a hundred feet.
When you're, with the Palins,
Have a Red, White and Blue time,
A White and Blue time,
This family is so sublime!
I See Russia
(Sung to the tune of “I feel pretty”)
I see Russia,
Big, Bad Russia,
I see Russia and Russia sees me!
And I would have crushed her
When you elected me to be VP.
I’m for drilling,
Lots of drilling
It's thrilling how drilling can be!
So the drilling
Will escalate if you elect me.
I’m the beauty Queen from the Bering Strait:
I got my make up and clothing for free.
Free for a pretty face,
Free for a pretty dress,
Free for a pretty smile,
Free for a pretty me!
I am running
And campaigning,
I’m debating and relating with joy,
While I slander
The Ex-Senator from Illinois!
Children
This is my Mother the Former Running Mate,
The most powerful Mom on the ice
She approves of her children who procreate,
As long as we don’t use a Birth Control Device.
She should’ve been the VP.
She’d be one heartbeat away.
If she had been the VP,
Noone would disobey.
Where we live you need heat
Cause it’s zero degrees,
We get Polar Bear meat,
From our local Hardees.
In school we should read the Bible now
Send for Hannity!
Here are the books that she’ll disavow They violate Christianity!
She once was obscure,
But now she’s maligned,
She’s going on tour
Leaving Dad in a bind!
Sarah
I see Russia,
Big, bad Russia
They despise us because we are free.
Salt Lake City
Is full of real Americans, like me.
Children
Ma ma ma ma . . .
Sarah
It stopped snowing,
It is sunny,
It’s so sunny and it’s only July,
It’s so sunny,
That my parka is nearly dry!
Children
Ma ma ma ma . . .
Sarah
I can see the KGB from the Bering Strait:
Children
What KGB where?
Sarah
You know that he’d rather be free.
Children
Which? What? Where? Whom?
Sarah
Free for a pretty face,
Free for a pretty dress,
Free for a pretty smile,
Free for a pretty me!
Children
Free for a pretty me!
ALL
I am running
To be the first female Pres, you see
It’ll be stunning when I get to see,
the expression
On the face of Hillary C!
Alaskan Oil
(Sung to the Tune of The Sound of Music)
Sarah
The hills are alive with Alaskan Oil
We’ll make great use of the great Frontiers
We’ll fill your tanks with Alaskan Oil
And sell all the pelts from the Bears at your local Sears
My spouse wants to hunt all the Moose and the birds
that survive despite zero degrees
My kids love to join him, and kill a large Moose
then attend Church in Moose dungarees
To shoot from the sky at a wolf as it hopelessly tries to get away
To watch with pride of the brave as his pelt turns red from gray
The oil in Alaska, smell like honey
I know that despite this I’ll still get grief from Al Gore
From The Bearing Straight we’ll access, To Alaskan Oil
And let the Ducks, clean up the mess that we’ve made of the shore!
Palin the Queen of the Right
(To the tune of Lydia the Tattooed Lady)
The MSNBC News Crew
Oh Palin, Oh Palin
Now have you met Palin
Palin the GOP running mate
Oh the red-necks so adore her
but wish the Press would just ignore her
Oh Palin, Oh Palin
Now have you met Palin
Palin the queen of the right
From her home can be seen the former USSR
With the Pipeline she wants, she can fill up her car
She thinks that Russia is still ruled by the Tsar
Oh you can learn a lot from Palin
There's a Polar Bear walking over the Tundra
He’s endangered so don’t shoot him and blunder
She would change that is she could have her way
And also tell everyone how to pray
She has her own view of the world from a long time gone
That man lived side by side with the Big Masterdon
And won’t approve of sex if a man has a condom on
Oh Palin, Oh Palin, now have you met Palin
Palin the queen of them all
She approves of the Bush Doctrine, though its never been read
The names of Court cases have clear left her head
And from the air she can shoot a Wolf til its dead!
You can learn a lot from Palin!
Palin, oh Palin, have you met Palin, the queen of the right!
She once even suggested the banning a book,
The Librarian countered with a quizzical look.
So then the old girl knew how little it took,
For she was fired then by Palin!
PHILOSOPHY: The Party is committed to helping the excluded, the disfranchised and the poor by providing a governmental framework which provides them the full opportunity to earn a piece of the American Dream (Democratic Party, 2008).
PRINCIPLES: Democrats believe that the proper role of the government is to regulate and oversee the economy (On the Issues, 2000). They believe the government should ensure that all people are taken care of by, for example, providing welfare, food stamps, education opportunities, and healthcare to those in need.
Energy: Democrats believe Americans deserve a more environmentally focused energy policy.
Education: Consistent with their philosophy of expanded governmental support, they also propose cutting student loan rates and making college tuition tax deductible.
Health Care: The Democrats want the federal government to provide a health care system that works for everyone, one that insures that every single citizen will have access to health care coverage.
Jobs and the Economy: Democrats believe that the government can and should attempt to create economic opportunities.
Real Security and Safety: The Democratic Party proposes to strengthen our military. They support protecting our homeland and the achievement of a sustained level of success and progress in Iraq. Despite this, many Democratic politicians continue to call for a relatively rapid withdrawal of our troops from Iraq, consistent with the liberal philosophy of a reduced U.S. presence in global affairs.
Immigration: Democrats are willing to allow Immigrants who are already in America, working, and paying taxes the ability to earn the same opportunities as U.S. citizens.
Republicans
PHILOSOPHY
The first Republican president, Abraham Lincoln, established the party’s ideology when he stated, “In all that people can do for themselves, the government should not interfere” (Republican vs. Democrats, 2004).
PRINCIPLES
Their belief is that while it is the role of government to regulate and oversee morality (Ask Me, 2000); it is not the government’s responsibility to care for each individual. The Republican Party is based on the principles of personal responsibility, that individuals determine how they want to live their life, and should be allowed to succeed or fail based upon their own merits without government interference.
Energy: Republican proposals focus on more traditional sources of energy development
Education: Republican position on education is rooted more in personal responsibility and accomplishment with far less emphasis on governmental support.
Health Care: Republican Party proposes to make health care more affordable, accessible, and flexible to Americans, their plan is to lower taxes for those who purchase health insurance, making it easier for them to purchase on their own.
Jobs and the Economy: The Republican Party believes in restraining spending by the federal overnment despite the weak economic activity, and reforming tax codes to lower the tax burden.
Real Security and Safety: The Republican Party view is quite different. It supports the idea of protecting Americans at home by being honest to our troops, citizens, and allies. They believe in securing the needs of the twenty-first century by repairing the military, winning the war on terror, protecting our homeland security, ensuring success in Iraq, and freeing the U.S. of its independence on foreign oil (RNC, 2008).
Immigration: The Republican Party’s political ideology simply does not include allowing immigrants here illegally to earn the same opportunities or take on the responsibilities of U.S. citizens.
Libertarian
PHILOSOPHY: “Get off my Lawn!”
PRINCIPLES: “I told you to get off my lawn.”
Energy: “If you don’t get off my lawn, I will shoot you.”
Education: “I’ll learn my kids, myself. It was good enough for my daddy, it’s good enough for me.”
Health Care: "Let em die, if they want to.'
Jobs and the Economy: “Get a Job, you deadbeat.”
Real Security and Safety: “I’ll protect my Lawn, however I damn well want to!”
Immigration: “You cross that line and I kill you!”
Of course, I’m speaking of the humorless. Those poor souls who wonder why it takes so many people to change a lightbulb. They are forever being requested to pull somebody’s finger, and they invariably do it every time. Ask them who they’re favorite Marx Brother is, their answer is always Zeppo.
Great strides have been made in the study of the humorless. At first it was believed that an intense humor session would cure them. The scientists soon came to the realization that this would never work. It seemed that there was no way to stop them from crying every time that the Coyote fell off the cliff while chasing the Road Runner.
There was a thought that some progress was made when behind the doors of a room at the clinic, laughter was heard. But the Scientist realized that in stead of progress, they had taken a step backwards. It seemed that the participants in the study were laughing at Jerry Lewis movies.
Congress has held hearings about this problem, but it failed to come up with a plan of attack. It is believed that his is because many members of Congress were also born without the J Chromosome, necessary to appreciate humor.
Today, we are asking you for your help. Imagine going through life telling knock-knock jokes, being kept up at nights wondering why the Chicken crossed the road, or crying for the hunter who was defecated on by the Foo Birds.
You can look forward to the day when that Insurance Broker that you’ve met at the convention, doesn’t put a whoopie cushion on your seat.
A small donation to The Humorless Foundation of America will soon make this tragedy a thing of the past.
Gibbons mate for life. “Gibbons are social animals. They are strongly territorial, and defend their boundaries with vigorous visual and vocal displays. The vocal element, which can often be heard for distances of up to 1 km, consists of a duet between a mated pair, their young sometimes joining in. In most species males, and in some also females, sing solos that attract mates...” Wikipedia. Now, any of you who know me, know that I would never have attracted a mate if I sang. Animals 1, Humans 0.
Termites mate for life. Termites eat a lot too. At a wedding or Bar Mitzvah, my wife can have one “pig in a blanket” and be satisfied. Whereas, I’ve been known to tip the waiter, so he’ll bring me an entire tray. Can a male termite tip a carpenter? Animals 1, Humans 1.
Pigeons mate for life. They are also homing animals. They often return to the same spots. You can just look at my terrace, if you don’t believe that. I think someday we will learn that there are Pigeon Realtors. These birds make their living selling spots on terraces, statues and park benches, once a Pigeon couple has passed on. Pigeons can’t use the toilet. Clearly we win. Humans 2 Animals 1.
Wolves mate for life. However, it is not uncommon for the breading male to mate with more than one subordinate female. I can’t imagine what would happen if I referred to my wife as the “subordinate female.” Don’t female wolves have egos? Humans 3 Animals 1.
Bald Eagles mate for life. “The Bald Eagle's diet is opportunistic and varied, but most feed mainly on fish. In the Pacific Northwest, spawning trout and salmon provide most of the Bald Eagles' diet.” Wikipedia. Clearly their diet, although, lacking in roughage, is better then mine. My diet, is also opportunistic and varied. If I’m passing a Pizza place, I have Pizza. If I’m passing a diner, I have a cheeseburger deluxe. If it’s not summer, I always have mallomars. So although, I may enjoy my diet more, I give this to the animals. Humans 3 Animals 2.
Penguins mate for life. Men have to wear a tuxedo to look as good as a Penguin. Slam dunk. Humans 3 Animals 3.
French Angelfish mate for life. How the hell do we know this? My wife is cold at 80 degrees, I sweat at 50 degrees. I’ve never seen a French Angelfish wearing a sweater. Animals 4, Humans 3.
I guess that animals know best. Therefore happily, I’ll stay married!
The Times headline reads: "Unemployment in California at 12%, Highest in Nearly 70 Years." This was not covered by CNN or Fox.
CNN lead with: "Medal of Honor awarded sparsely in Iraq, Afghanistan." The Times went with a similar story inside, "Medal of Honor Is Given to Hero of Afghan Battle." This was not covered by Fox.
Fox highlighted: "Massachusetts Governor Says White House Pressing for Quick Kennedy Replacement." Nothing close in the Times or CNN.
What does this mean? Is California unemployment overblown by The Times? Is the President putting undue pressure on the Massachusetts Governor?
Why are these sources so different? Is anybody fair and balanced?
Baseball is President Eisenhower tossing out the first ball of the season; and a pudgy schoolboy playing catch with his dad on a Mississippi farm. Its the big league pitcher who sins in night clubs. And the Hollywood singer who pitches to the Giants in spring training.
A tall, thin old man waving a scorecard from his dugout -- that's baseball. So is the big, fat guy with a bulbous nose running out one of his 714 home runs with mincing steps.
It's America, this baseball. A re-issued newsreel of boyhood dreams. Dreams lost somewhere between boy and man. It's the Bronx cheer and the Baltimore farewell. The left-field screen in Boston, the right-field dump at Nashville's Sulphur Dell, the open stands in San Francisco, the dusty, wind-swept diamond at Albuquerque. And a rock home plate and a chicken wire backstop -- anywhere.
There's a man in Mobile who remembers a triple he saw Honus Wagner hit in Pittsburgh 46 years ago. That's baseball. So is the scout reporting that a 16-year-old sandlot pitcher in Cheyenne is the new "Walter Johnson."
It's a wizened little man shouting insults from the safety of his bleacher seat. And a big, smiling first baseman playfully tousling the hair of a youngster outside the players' gate.
Baseball is a spirited race of man against man, reflex against reflex. A game of inches. Every skill is measured. Every heroic, every failing is, seen and cheered -- or booed. And then becomes a statistic. In baseball, democracy shines its clearest. Here the only race that matters is the race to the bag. The creed is the rule book. Color is something to distinguish one team's uniform from another.
Baseball is Sir Alexander Fleming, discoverer of penicillin, asking his Brooklyn hosts to explain Dodger signals. It's player Moe Berg speaking seven languages and working crossword puzzles in Sanskrit. It's a scramble in the box seats for a foul -- and a $125 suit ruined. A man barking into a hot microphone about a cool beer, that's baseball. So is the sportswriter telling a .383 hitter how to stride, and a 20-victory pitcher trying to write his impressions of the World Series.
Baseball is a ballet without music. Drama without words. A carnival without kewpie dolls.
A housewife in California couldn't tell you the color of her husband's eyes, but she knows that Yogi Berra is hitting .337, has brown eyes and used to love to eat bananas with mustard. That's baseball. So is the bright sanctity of Cooperstown's Hall of Fame. And the former big leaguer who is playing out the string in a Class B loop.
Baseball is continuity. Pitch to pitch. Inning to inning. Game to game. Series to series. Season to season. It's rain, rain, rain splattering on a puddled tarpaulin as thousands sit in damp disappointment. And the click of typewriters and telegraph keys in the press box -- like so many awakened crickets. Baseball is a cocky batboy. The old-timer whose batting average increases every time he tells it. A lady celebrating a home team rally by mauling her husband with a rolled-up scorecard.
Baseball is the cool, clear eyes of Rogers Hornsby, the flashing spikes of Ty Cobb, an overaged pixie named Rabbit Maranville, and Jackie Robinson testifying before a Congressional hearing.
Baseball? It's just a game -- as simple as a ball and a bat. Yet, as complex as the American spirit it symbolizes. It's a sport, business -- and sometimes even religion.
Baseball is Tradition in flannel knickerbockers. And Chagrin in being picked off base. It is Dignity in the blue serge of an umpire running the game by rule of thumb. It is Humor, holding its sides when an errant puppy eludes two groundskeepers and the fastest outfielder. And Pathos, dragging itself off the field after being knocked from the box.
Nicknames are baseball. Names like Zeke and Pie and Kiki and Home Run and Cracker and Dizzy and Dazzy.
Baseball is a sweaty, steaming dressing room where hopes and feelings are as naked as the men themselves. It's a dugout with spike-scarred flooring. And shadows across an empty ballpark. It's the endless list of names in box scores, abbreviated almost beyond recognition.
The holdout is baseball, too. He wants 55 grand or he won't turn a muscle. But, it's also the youngster who hitch-hikes from South Dakota to Florida just for a tryout.
Arguments, Casey at the Bat, old cigarette cards, photographs, Take Me Out to the Ball Game -- all of them are baseball.
Baseball is a rookie -- his experience no bigger than the lump in his throat -- trying to begin fulfillment of a dream. It's a veteran, too -- a tired old man of 35, hoping his aching muscles can drag him through another sweltering August and September.
For nine innings, baseball is the story of David and Goliath, of Samson, Cinderella, Paul Bunyan, Homer's Iliad and the Count of Monte Cristo.
Willie Mays making a brilliant World Series catch. And then going home to Harlem to play stick-ball in the street with his teen-age pals -- that's baseball.
And so is the husky voice of a doomed Lou Gehrig saying, "I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth."
Baseball is cigar smoke, hot-roasted peanuts, The Sporting News, winter trades, "Down in Front," and the "Seventh-Inning Stretch." Sore arms, broken bats, a no-hitter, and the strains of the Star-Spangled Banner.
Baseball is a highly paid Brooklyn catcher telling the nation's business leaders: "You have to be a man to be a big leaguer, but you have to have a lot of little boy in you, too."
This is a game for America, this baseball!
The wonderful Mary Travers. She will be missed.
2 The death penalty should be abolished, with exception for those who say "irregardless," supposably" and "Valentime's day.". For those offenses there should be the ultimate penalty.
3 God is not interested in your bumper sticker.
4 The reason that there are so few Jewish ballplayers is that is is very difficult to make double triangles with your hands while carrying a bat.
5 Although my wife is right 99+% of the time, I continue to insist upon doing things my way. Does this make me a fool or a man?
6 Who is that man in the mirror?
7 I haven't been loosing my hair, it's right there under the bed.
8 When I was single, I realized that it was tough being a stud, when nobody else knew about it.
9 Those headphones that you're wearing, to listen to that awful music on the subway, are not only set so loud that you'll be deaf by the time you're 30, but they don't work, I can hear the crappy music.
10 Along with fining people for spitting on the subway, there should be fines for clipping one's nails, flatulence and insisting that your knapsack deserves a seat.
Is he a criminal? No he is the President. Elected my a MAJORITY of the populace.
Is he a Socialist, Communist or Fascist? No
When I was in High School, somebody named Nixon was President. He shamed the office, had he chosen to speak to me, I would have listened. He was the President.
It has become apparent that anytime somebody, on either side, wants to stress why somebody should support their point of view, they compare their opponent to the Nazis.
“Comparisons to the Nazis are deeply offensive and only serve to diminish and trivialize the extent of the Nazi regime’s crimes against humanity and the murder of six million Jews and millions of others in the Holocaust,” Abraham Foxman ADL National Director and Holocaust survivor. “I don’t see any comparison here. It’s off-center, off-issue and completely inappropriate.”
The total number of those killed by the Nazis, including Jews, Gays, Russians, Gypsies etc..., may never be known, Because you're against National Healthcare, doesn't merit a comparison to Nazis to those who disagree.
The innapropriate comparison is not limited to the Republicans. I disagree with most everything that Sarah Palin stands for, but Whoopi Goldberg's comparison to a Bund rally is out of line. "This girl is dangerous to me. This is a very dangerous woman, because I believe for her intents and purposes, she’s OK if everybody lives a certain way, that is to say, the way God ordained men and women to be. Well, already she’s breaking that because she’s the daddy. She’s going to run the country and the husband is going to take care of the kids. I just found the whole thing sad and very musty and very much like a Bund rally, but maybe that was just me."
Of course Ms. Palin is not above resorting to such tactics: "The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel” so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their “level of productivity in society,” whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil." This comment is an out and out lie.
Of course Anne Coulter has to get in on the action, referring to David Brock of Media Matters, Coulter attacked such websites, calling them "little Nazi block watchers," stating: "They tattle on their parents, turn them in to the Nazis."
Are these people ill informed to the extent of Nazi Atrocities? It's disrespectful to those who died, those who suffered and those who lost loved ones to make such frivolous comparisons.
It ain't no use to cutting off my hood, babe
like you did, before
It ain't no use to cutting off my hood, babe
This time, I’ll call the law
With your Whitefish swimming in your bathroom tub
And the spots that the cleaning lady forgot to scrub
They’ll never let me in the Yacht club
The children don’t call, but, it's all right
It’s forbidden to turn on your light, babe
On the Sabbath day
An’ It’s forbidden to turn on your light, babe
It’s not to dark to pray
Still I wish that on the Holidays, I could have a taste
Of some red wine that doesn’t smell like paste
It brings to mind Industrial waste
The children don’t call, but, it's all right
Oy, have we found a girl for you, son
That Aunt Molly will approve
Oy, have we found a girl, for you, son
And don’t you worry, some weight she will remove
Such a Wedding and a Party we’re going to make
I hope that she leaves some of the Wedding Cake
We’ll serve dairy, so she can have her Milk Shake
The children don’t call, but, it's all right
So why don’t you come for a visit, son
Not for me, but for your mom
I don’t get any mail from you, son
You know that I can’t read dot.com
We just want to look at your face
Bring the girl, would that be a disgrace
We’re serving Schmaltz, just in case
You don’t call, but, it's all right
After their return, their son clears all the One Hundred Dollar Bills from the Federal Reserve when he learns of the Parents intent for them. He subsequently convinces the Congress to abandon all logic by cutting taxes in a time of war, rendering the Hundred Dollar Bill valueless. George and Barbara are lost. Do the support their child, or do what’s best for the Country. The son abandons the party again further in the forest so it cannot find their way back; this time however, they can only leave a trail of Big Macs. Unfortunately, the leader of the Neocon Forest, Rush, eats their trail of Big Macs, causing George and Barbara to become lost.
Lost in the forest, they find a house made of excepts from something called The Bush Doctrine. Unable to resist, they begin to read it. The inhabitant of the house, a Mieskeit, named Annie, invites them in reads to the from something called The Patriot Act. The wall is covered with dart boards, with pictures of what The Mieskeit calls, Judges who legislate from the bench.
The woman, however, is a witch who has built the house to entice Republicans to her, so that she can frighten them with thoughts of Gay Marriage. . She locks George in a cage, and makes Barbara her servant. While she prepares to read to George, she orders Barbara off to fetch all of the books that she has written. Unable to do anything, Barbara weeps bitterly and does as she is told.
In the cage, George finds a copy of The U.S. Constitution, that was being used for liner paper. When the witch tells George to read to her from her book treason, he instead reads to her from the Second Amendment to the Constitution, editing it to reflect Annie’s view. Days pass by, and the witch has convinced George to fully back his son’s plans. She then releases him to the other Republicans. George is freed and he and Barbara retire wh their riches,. After reuniting with their son, they realize that due to the son’s policies The Republicans have become an endangered species, making them rethink their beliefs in the Endangered Species act.
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