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Quotes

"All right, I'll clear the air once and for all, and confess. Yes, we did it. I did it, my family. I found a note in the basement. It said 'we killed him, signed Morty.'
"And a lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?'..."We killed him because he didn't want to become a Doctor. That's why we killed him?"- Lenny Bruce

“I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.” - Woody Allen

“My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once”- Richard Lewis

“A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.”- Henny Youngman

“You can drag a horticulture, but you can't make her think.”- Dorothy Parker

“Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.”- Groucho Marx

“It is better to have loafed and lost, than never to have loafed at all” James Thurber

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jellomarx
jellomarx

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