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The Arms and The Bombs

Recently recordings of a pre-cabinet meeting between President Bush, Vice President Cheney and Secretary Rumsfeld were uncovered/ What follows is the transcript of that meeting.


Secret Service Agent: Mr. President, the cabinet awaits you.

Bush: I hope that I get this right.

Cheney: All you have to remember is where we store the bombs.

Bush: What?

Cheney: Listen. The WMDs that we are placing in Baghdad is in one of the tunnels.

Bush: Which one?

Cheney: The one with a funnel.

Bush: The tunnel with a funnel?

Cheney: Yes. But you don't want the tunnel with the funnel, you want the silo from Cairo!

Bush: I-I don't want the tunnel with the funnel, I want the silo from what?

Rumsfeld: The silo from Cairo!

Bush: Hm?

Cheney: It's a little silo we have buried in Cairo.

Bush: Th-the silo from Cairo have the arms and the bombs?

Cheney: No, the arms and the bombs are in the tunnel with the funnel.

Bush: Oh, oh, the funnel with the tunnel.

Rumsfeld: The tunnel with the funnel.

Bush: What about Cairo from the silo?

Cheney: Not Cairo from the silo! The silo from Cairo!

Bush: Where's the arms and the bombs?

Cheney: In the tunnel with the funnel!

Rumsfeld: Don't you see? The arms and the bombs are in the tunnel with the funnel.

Cheney: The silo from Cairo has the scuds that is duds!

Rumsfeld: It's so easy, I can say it!

Bush: Well then you tell them!

Cheney: Listen carefully. The arms and the bombs are in the tunnel with the funnel, the silo from Cairo has the scuds that are duds.

Bush: The arms and the bombs are in the tunnel with the funnel, the silo from Cairo has the scuds that are duds.

Rumsfeld: Good man!

Cheney: Just remember that.

Secret Service Agent: Mr. President, The cabinet is waiting.

Bush: The arms and the bombs... the arms and the bombs are in the tunnel with the funnel, the silo from Cairo has the duds that are scuds. Eh... scuds that are duds- The arms and the bombs in the tunnel with the funnel, the silo from Cairo has the duds that are scuds. Eh, eh, scuds that are duds. Eh. The barns with the fun-eh, eh, Cairo with the...

Secret Service Agent: Mr, President.

Bush: The funnel with t... the arms and the bombs in the tunnel with the funnel, Cairo from the silo has the scuds that are suds. Eh, no... The arms and the bombs in the tunnel with the funnel. The silo, with the pyro from Cairo... the pyro with the silo is in the tunnel called the Chunnel. Eh, the Chunnel cross the Channel, Eh, the the bless... The tunnel cross the Channel with the funnel....

Secret Service Agent (interrupting): Come along, Mr. President. His majesty is waiting.

Bush: The funnel in the Channel.

Secret Service Agent: This way, Mr. President.

Bush: (Muttering "arms and the bombs") Thank you.

Bush: The arms with the bombs from silo from Cairo.

Bush: I've got it! I've got it. The arms and the bombs in the tunnel with the funnel, the silo from Cairo has the scuds that are duds, right?

Cheney: Right. But there's been a change. They broke the silo from Cairo.

Bush: They broke the silo from Cairo?

Cheney: And replaced it with a well.

Bush: Well.

Cheney: With a bad smell.

Bush: Well with a smell.

Cheney: Right.

Bush: Did you put the arms and the bombs in the tunnel with the funnel?

Cheney: No! The arms and the bombs in the well with the smell, the tunnel with the funnel has the scuds that are duds!

Bush: The arms and the bombs in the well with the smell, the tunnel with the funnel has the scuds that is duds.



Cheney: Just remember that.

Bush: Yes, thank you very much. The Chunnel cross the Channel eh... the arms and the bombs are in the silo from Cairo. Eh, just remember that.

Rice: Beware of what you say. They’ve moved some of the bombs.

Bush: Moved! Are you sure?

Rice: I heard Cheney.

Bush: The Chunnel with the tunnel is the scuds... eh...

Bush: The arms and the bombs in the well with the smell, the funnel in the Chun...The tunnel cross the chan....

Rice: No, no, no...

Bush: The arms and the bombs are in the silo with the... he he (laughs nervously)

Rice: ...Tunnel with the funnel.

Bush: The tunnel with the funnel has the scuds that are duds.

Rice: Right. Don't forget it.

Bush (mutters): Cairo with the smell... no, no, no.

Bush: The arms with the funnel are in the scuds with the silo.

Bush: The poison's in the smell with the funnel.

Bush: Eh, ah, the flannel is in the channel with the silo with the...

Bush: The Bombs with the smell in the funnel with ....

Rice: The arms and the bombs in the well with the smell!

Bush: The tunnel with the funnel has the scuds that are duds!

Rice: Oh, no, you've got the wrong one!

Bush: If I get this wrong, remember I did it bravely.

Cheney: You'll not get it wrong. It doesn’t matter what you say.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
countfroggy
Nov. 5th, 2009 03:41 am (UTC)
The brew that is true!
cathy_edgett
Nov. 5th, 2009 08:00 pm (UTC)
This is GREAT, as is usual for you!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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