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The Far Right Reverend, I.M.A. Fony

 

Welcome to the Flop News Network. I am your host, Bill O’Rudely . Today we have a very special guest, The Nominee of the Lilly White Party for President the Far Right Reverend, I.M.A. Fony.

The Lilly White Party was formed by a Conservative focus group, headed by my friend Anne Vulture.   You won't see this kind of coverage from the mainstream press,  but here at Flop we believe that all reasonable viewpoints should be heard.

O’Rudely: Reverend Fony, what was the reason that you chose to run?

Fony: I have always been a member of the Republican party, but when they choose a Communist sympathizer, like John McCain for President it is time for all far right thinking, loyal Americans to respond. You know that there are reliable sources who state that he consped with the enemy,  while being held upside down and water boarded.  

Three of your colleagues, Sean Stupidity, Anne Vulture and Rush Rumproast suggested that I run for President. Then I spoketh to the Lord. Who said unto me "Fony you’re the only one to delivereth my word!"

When approached with the idea, I realized that a vast majority of right thinking great Americans were not having their voices heard.

O’Rudely: I myself am concerned about this war on Christmas being waged by the lefties of this nation. I understand that you plan on proposing a Constitutional Amendment that all citizens must celebrate Christmas.

Fony: Not only celebrate, but understand the true meaning of Christmas. To stone the sinners and ask the Jews to repent for the killing of our Lord!

O’Rudely: Amen! There was some discussion of the reinstatement of the Alien and Sedition Acts. Is there any truth to this?

Fony: That’s partially true. The meaning of the Alien and Sedition Acts will be adopted as a new constitutional amendment in combination with the mandate that the ten commandments be law and be taught in every school.   Anyone who does not follow the Ten Commandments will be punished,  along with all the gays and feminists.  You are aware that Hurricane Katrina was God's punishment for our sinful ways.

O’Rudely: How will you deal with those Atheist Communists on the left who don’t believe in the Ten Commandments?

Fony: I propose that we extend the prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba to the entire island. Exile them to the Prison. That will get them thinking right.

O’Rudely: How will you handle Middle East relations?

Fony: The day of Reckoning is soon upon us. The Bible tells us that the Jewish people must have a homeland. Then those of them who are not with us will die at the hand of the Lord. He is a kind and thoughtful Lord!

O’Rudely: This has been Bill O’Rudely with the Flop News Network, always Fair and Balanced.

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