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Curmudgeons and Conundrums

In the land of Curmudgeons, Conundrums and me
came the famous curmudgeon, Spanky McPhee.
Now some said that Spanky was just in a rut,
but I thought that Spanky was a pain in the butt.

Year after year, at the Curmudgeon convention,
At the award ceremony Spanky garnered attention.
When he first attended this illustrious event,
He Kvetched and complained in a Yiddish accent.

Spanky complained about the food they were serving
To his waiter, a Conundrum named Dizzy McIrving.
Now Conundrums are known for being confusing.
And to a Curmudgeon this habit is far from amusing.

The Curmudgeon is angry, when Conundrum’s confused.
He just assumes that he is being abused.
And the Conundrum doesn’t care for the Curmudgeon at all.
He just can’t decide, if the Curmudgeon is short or if he’s tall.

Now back to our story, of Spanky and Dizzy,
and how the sent this convention into a tizzy.

Spanky had ordered a bagel and Lox
With a prune Danish and bottle of Schnapps.
Now Dizzy’s confused, befuddled, bemused
by his odd piece of bread is serving,
so Dizzy think he, would be helping McPhee,
regardless whether he is deserving.

Dizzy decided, that the bread was lopsided
because there was a hole in the middle.
Dizzy, with good intentions, however misguided
Threw out the bread that he thought had a hole
with the bread that he had found in a bowl
and then heated it up on the griddle.



Spanky was vitriolic when he saw this strange mixture
A meal that resembled a parabolic bathroom fixture.
Spanky, said, “I am not eating this Drek.”
And proceeded to turn the dish into a wreck.



Dizzy had never encountered such a demeanor
As Spanky got, angry, irate and much meaner.
Called Diz a “Schlimazel”, “Schmendrick” and “Putz”
To which Dizzy said “and they call me nuts.”

A Curmudgeon is happy when he’s complaining.
And a Conundrum smiles when logic is straining
As for me, I just sat back and said, “this is so entertaining.”

So what was in this strange meal that caused the commotions.
That had no appeal, but caused angry emotions.
I guess it was some sort of bagel, or that’s what they said
Although I’ve never seen that sort of bread.
I’ve heard of such bagels, but have I’ve never consumed.
It isn’t a bagel, I’ve always presumed.
To Spanky the sin, was equal to eating pork
To purchase a bagel, not made in New York.

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jellomarx
jellomarx

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