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Chapter 2

In the Beginning

I believe that this “revolution” began on July 6, 2010 at a jointly held press conference, Donald Trump and Rupert Murdoch announced that they would be organizing “The Million, Billionaires March on Washington.”

After selling their list of demands to the reporters present, Trump spoke up, “There is no ‘affirmative action’ for billionaires. I went to vote, I couldn’t even get a cocktail with it. Furthermore, they only let me vote once. I own over 200 corporations in the United States and those corporations are people too. Had we gotten to vote only once for every corporation that we own, the results of the 2008 Election would have been quite different.

“I don’t see why poorer people should vote at all,” Murdoch interjected. “Eventually we’ll let the voting right trickle down to them.”

“This will be unlike your traditional march, because we won’t actually be marching. We will hire proxies to march for us and furthermore there aren’t a million billionaires, there are only about four hundred of us, and Gates, Buffett and Bloomberg have refused to join us. So far we expect to have the proxies for The Koch Brothers, Sheldon Adelson and Mitt Romney, of course,” stated Trump.

There is growing support in The House of Representatives for legislation that would give aid to billionaires. “This won’t cost us one cent,” stated Representative, Eric Cantor, “All that we have to do is extend the Bush-era tax cuts for the wealthiest one percent, reduce school lunch programs, and it will work. I don’t want to bore you with the math.”

Later that day the controversial “aid to billionaires” language was earmarked onto a bill guaranteeing all injured veterans one meal per day, which had been stalled in committee for two years.

On October 20, 2010, a relatively peaceful march took place on the Mall.   The Marchers consisted of mostly minimum wage workers, who, it was later learned, were paid less than the minimum wage to be the proxies for the Billionaires.   The one exception was Baseball Star, Alex Rodriguez. 

It was believed that Rodriguez appeared in an attempt to fix his tarnished image after it had recently been revealed that his Contract was modeled after farm subsidies legislation.   Just as a farmer, may be paid by the Government not to grow a particular vegetable,   Rodriguez was paid by the New York Yankees, not to hit in the post season.      

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jellomarx
jellomarx

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