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God's Conversation with David

God:   David, please come here, I'd like to speak to you about a small problem.

David:  Very funny God,  why do you have to use the word small?

God: Just a little heavenly humor.  Michelangelo says that you've been giving him a hard time again.  What's that all about?

David: Enough with the heavenly humor, do you have to use the word hard?  You see how he sculpted me.   You made me, you know that it's not true.

God:  What difference does that make.  Do you have to shoot at him with your slingshot?  I don't know what to do with you.

David: Why don't you ask Solomon for advise?   He's always been your favorite.

God: Would you cut out that jealousy stuff.  Anyhow I did ask him and what he suggested was impractical.

David: What was that?

God:  He said that we should cut you in half.   That man hasn't had an original idea in 3,500 years.   I still don't understand the problem.

David:  I can't get a date.  All of the women think that Michelangelo's sculpture was true to proportion.   

God:  But you're married.  What about Bathsheba?

David:  She left me.  She couldn't take the kidding from the other women.

God:  What did they say?

David:  Oh,  Mary Magdalen said that "That looks like a Penis only smaller."

God: Well she would know.   Clearly someone will date you.

David:  Rahab will, but you know that if you pay her enough she'll date anyone.

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jellomarx
jellomarx

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