?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

To Be a Republican

This is not original

>>>
>>>To be an official Republican you need to believe:
>>>
>>>1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary
>>>Clinton.
>>>
>>>2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's
>>>Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and
>>>a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
>>>
>>>3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade
>>>with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
>>>
>>>4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our
>>>highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
>>>
>>>5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
>>>multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
>>>without regulation.
>>>
>>>6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
>>>speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
>>>
>>>7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
>>>
>>>8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then
>>>demand their cooperation and money.
>>>
>>>9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing
>>>health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and insurance companies
>>>have the best interests of the public at heart.
>>>
>>>10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
>>>creationism should be taught in schools.
>>>
>>>11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
>>>offense, but a president lying to
>>>enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
>>>
>>>12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
>>>Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
>>>Internet.
>>>
>>>13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
>>>George Bush's driving record is
>>>none of our business.
>>>
>>>14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
>>>conservative radio host. Then
>>>it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
>>>
>>>15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who
>>>will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
>>>
>>>16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest,
>>>but what Bush did in the '80's is
>>>irrelevant.
>>>
>>>17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for
>>>wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
countfroggy
Aug. 21st, 2008 08:04 pm (UTC)
Well put!! (At least describes the NeoCons and the Religious Right to a 'T'.)

Any idea as to the original?
jellomarx
Aug. 21st, 2008 08:07 pm (UTC)
It came in an e-mail from my Uncle. He spends his day sending out political oor dirty e-mails, when he's not golfing. This one I happened to open. I'll check with him.
wibblywobbly
Aug. 21st, 2008 10:56 pm (UTC)
Socialism for the rich (Fannie Mae, Bear Sterns), capitalism for the poor (Wal Mart, buy your own godamn insurance)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

Profile

jellomarx
jellomarx

Latest Month

October 2017
S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031    

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow