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Proposition 9

Little is known about California’s Proposition 9. It passed overwhelmingly with little fanfare. The amendment to the California Constitution, known as the Defense of Flatulence Act, simply states that a husband has the right to pass gas in public, despite his wife’s consternation.

This overrides a Decision of the California Supreme Court, that gave the wife the right to admonish the husband for public turgidity. This proposition created quite a stir in the Governor’s mansion, where Governor Schwarzenegger threw his full support behind the passage of the bill and his wife Maria Shriver described it as a stinker.

A protest in Sacramento, against Proposition 9, broke up when counter protestor Rush Limbaugh showed up after having a diner of Franks and Beans. Limbaugh said, “My friends, we have defeated the Liberals in passing this important legislation. I can hear it now, Al Gore claiming that this is a defeat in the fight against global warming. It’s against the natural law to stifle a man’s natural instincts to blow one off every so often.

Legal experts claim that the law was poorly drafted, especially in light of the passage of proposition 8. Since the statute specifically uses the word wife and proposition 8 defines marriage as between a man and a woman.
The proponents argued for exclusively heterosexual flatulence while claiming that failure to change the constitution would require changes to school curriculum and threaten school lunch programs. The opponents argued that eliminating the rights of any Californian and mandating that one group of people be treated differently from everyone else was unfair and wrong.
Do same sex couples have the right to pass gas in public? When reached for comment a gay spokesman said, “We’ll let them have this right for themselves.”

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
cathy_edgett
Nov. 20th, 2008 03:14 pm (UTC)
I love it. Publicize this. It shows how ridiculous this all is.

Thank you for your creativity which can maybe break down barriers for some.

Send it to the SF Chronicle. We'll see what comes.
jellomarx
Nov. 20th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm mixed on this one. I liked the idea. I'm not thrilled with the execution.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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