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There's no such thing as climate change

The date is February 21, 2022, President Palin is about to address the country from the Easternmost spot in the United States, Newark, New Jersey. Let’s go to her now.

My fellow Americans, I come here today, with Secretary of Homeland Security, Rush Limbaugh, to quell the rumors about climate change. There has been no man made climate change. The recent phenomenons were acts of God and Mother Nature. I will address the issues one by one.

1) The Polar Bear are not extinct. Far from it, Zoos all around the nation have Polar Bears. Also in a recent report, two bears, believed to have come from the Central Park Zoo, were seen walking the streets of Newark. The disappearance of the Polar Bear was not due to climate change, but to a bad diet. Once they migrated south, they were spotted eating all the rich foods in Montreal. We begged them to go on a low cholesterol diet, but it was too late. Now that Montreal and the St. Lawrence River are one, this should no longer be aa problem.

2) The fact that we have set record highs, the last 12 days, is caused by a common heat wave. Anyway don’t you prefer it to be 85 degrees in February, rather then 25 degrees. And ya know, it’s so much friendlier wearing bathing suits to these get togethers. Rush, you look so handsome in your speedo.

3) I guarantee that we will find Manhattan Island. In fact, at low tide, a large ape has been seen clinging to the top of what is believed to be the Empire State Building.

4) I can no longer see Russia from my window.

I hope that this cleared up all of your questions. I’m now leaving for my vacation in Denver, where I hope to swim in the Pacific Ocean.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
cathy_edgett
Dec. 15th, 2008 03:35 pm (UTC)
This is great, sad, but great!! :)
lux_angelis
Dec. 15th, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC)
Very nice :)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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