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Jello out of Oz

When we last left our hero. He had just discovered the man and woman behind the curtain.

The Great Guru of Chappaqua bellowed "Bring me the radio transmitter of the Big Fat Warlock of the Far Right."

The lawyer without ethics responds, "Not that it matters to me, I’m getting paid by the hour, but doesn’t that violate his first amendment rights?"

The Great Guru "It depends upon your definition of his."

So off our heroes go, to get the radio transmitter for the Big Fat Warlock of the Far Right.

Suddenly, we’re attacked by what appears to be Flying Elephants. And if you think that birds can do a job on your car, you can’t imagine what a Pachyderm can do! As the creatures grabbed us in their trunks, we noticed the bumper stickers on their rear ends:

I’m the NRA and I vote!

I’ve been saved!

Remove Lincoln, put Reagan on Mount Rushmore!

I further realize that they’ve left my companions and only taken me.

Something tells me I’m not in Queens anymore!

As we approach the Warlock’s castle I hear the monotonous chanting:

Dittohead, Ditto, Dittohead, Ditto...

When I’m met by the Warlock he says:

"When I’m done with my hourly supply of OxyContin, you will either be ready to vote for Mit Romney or be forced to listen to Barry Manilow Music until you completely loose your mind!

I’m put in a room decorated with pictures of Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, Pat Buchanan and David Duke! I start to hallucinate, I hear FDR, Adlai Stevenson, Ed Muskie, I think that I’m saved.

Suddenly, I see the good witch of the Left, It’s Madeleine Albright! (You didn’t think that I’d make it Hillary, after all this is realism!)

"You’ve always had the power to get back to Queens, just turn off your radio."

"What have you learned Jello?" Said the suddenly reappearing Lawyer.

"That even the despicable have first amendment rights to spew their hate speech . But, the listener has the equal right of retort or just to turn off the radio!"




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