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The Mouths that Bored!

Did you ever meet one of those people who was born without the part of the brain that tells them when not to say something inappropriate?

I’ve met many over the course of my life. One of them was my College roommate for a year.

He was loud, rude and vulgar. I don’t know why he befriended me. I have less of a clue why I accepted his friendship. When people would ask why I was friendly with him, I would answer, "because nobody else will be."

Was it my responsibility to be friendly with him? After being embarrassed one too many times, I finally concluded no.

I went to the final playoff game of the 1998 Yankees. I didn’t know one of the guys that I went with, he was the friend of a friend. As the Number 4 train pulled up to the Stadium, I saw one of my favorite sights, the field at Yankee Stadium. I described it as such. He responded by saying in vulgar terms and loud enough for many to hear about his favorite sight, a part of the female anatomy.

I’m not a prude. I just can’t understand why it is necessary to repulse people. He wasn’t funny, he was boorish!

I have an office mate, who is everything these two were and more. Every conversation he has, everybody has to hear. His sneezes would drown out The Who! He never covers his mouth. After one of these colossal sneezes he thinks nothing of using the communal phone or sticking his hands in an office cookie jar.

He reads everything on anybody’s desk, regardless of whether it’s privileged information or not.

I once left a note on my desk. "Clive (Not his real name) stop f*&%#% reading everything on my desk." This quote was repeated 200 times. He said to me, "I don’t do that." Not realizing that the mere statement was an admission of guilt!

Last week I insulted him. He doesn’t speak to me now. Why didn’t I think of this sooner in life!




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