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George: Howdy, I’d like to apply for the job opening as a Bannister (sic).

Interviewer: Sir, the word is Barista! What qualifications do you have?

George: Sorry. I won’t make that mistake again. I guess I got faulty information from my aides.

My qualifications, I was the leader of the free world for eight years. I was in charge of the Federal Budget and Commander and Chief of the Military. As such I spent the U.S. Surplus and shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. History.

Interviewer: That’s all well and good, but can you make coffee?

George: When I was President, we catered many successful I have a recommendation here from Vladimir Putin about my Coffee.

Interviewer: Sir this is in Russian! I’ll have one of my co-workers translate it.

Addressing his co-worker a older balding man with a large Strawberry Beauty mark on his forehead. "Mikhail, would you have this translated for me?"

Leader of the Free world, that’s a little vague. Do you have any business experience?

George: I set the all-time record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I also set an all-time record for most private foreclosures in a 12-month period.

Interviewer: How are you with co-workers?

George: My co-workers and friends are very loyal to me. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. I was also in charge of contractors. In fact, I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I’m also very popular, I have set the all-time record for the most people worldwide to simultaneously protest against me in public menus (sic).

Interviewer: I think that you mean venues.

George: I always make that mistake. I won’t get fooled again.

Interviewer: What about security? We’ve had some problems here.

George: I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.

Interviewer: I’m not sure if you have the right qualifications. Do you have a criminal record?

George: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available. Of course I will need the entire month of August off!

Interviewer: We’ll let you know!

Later that day at home.

George: Laura, honey I think that it went well.

Laura: I hope that you didn’t tell them about cutting health care benefits for War Veterans.

George: No, it never came up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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jellomarx
jellomarx

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