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The Humorless Foundation of America

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention. Today I am asking you for your assistance in helping those who are otherwise ignored. They walk among us and are easily recognized. They might have a “comb-over,” that originated from the middle of their behind. They might be wearing pink Bermuda shorts with penny loafers and black socks. They might be wearing a toupee, that looks like it were dropped from the Talons of an overhead bird and left wherever it landed upon the poor soul’s head. They might be in your family. Until now you may not even have acknowledged the problem.

Of course, I’m speaking of the humorless. Those poor souls who wonder why it takes so many people to change a lightbulb. They are forever being requested to pull somebody’s finger, and they invariably do it every time. Ask them who they’re favorite Marx Brother is, their answer is always Zeppo.

Great strides have been made in the study of the humorless. At first it was believed that an intense humor session would cure them. The scientists soon came to the realization that this would never work. It seemed that there was no way to stop them from crying every time that the Coyote fell off the cliff while chasing the Road Runner.

There was a thought that some progress was made when behind the doors of a room at the clinic, laughter was heard. But the Scientist realized that in stead of progress, they had taken a step backwards. It seemed that the participants in the study were laughing at Jerry Lewis movies.

Congress has held hearings about this problem, but it failed to come up with a plan of attack. It is believed that his is because many members of Congress were also born without the J Chromosome, necessary to appreciate humor.

Today, we are asking you for your help. Imagine going through life telling knock-knock jokes, being kept up at nights wondering why the Chicken crossed the road, or crying for the hunter who was defecated on by the Foo Birds.

You can look forward to the day when that Insurance Broker that you’ve met at the convention, doesn’t put a whoopie cushion on your seat.

A small donation to The Humorless Foundation of America will soon make this tragedy a thing of the past.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 8th, 2009 04:08 pm (UTC)
... because a mime is a terrible thing to waste!
Oct. 8th, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
you can send your contributions directly to me.
Oct. 8th, 2009 05:32 pm (UTC)
Clever again! I especially like that about the Jerry Lewis movies. :)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )



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