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God was tired

God was tired.

God was tired of people doing things in his name. God gave man free will. After that, outside of one event, the 1969 Mets, he never interfered again.

Athletes crossed themselves, praying for a hit. There was the Jewish ballplayer who would lay down his bat, and make the Star of David. The truth be told God was happy that he started to lay down his bat. Prior to that he had gone on the disabled list twice with concussions. He did get a laugh out of the Islamic player, who regardless of where it forced him to look, would face East in the batter’s box. God hoped that he wasn’t too disappointed to find out, after on unfortunate at bat, where he refused to face the pitcher, that the 72 virgins was just P.R.

Oh he wished that some of the stories were true. How nice it would have been to rest on the Sabbath. That ended when he got married. It was always something with that woman! Smite this person, send a plague here. Always something.

Did Mel Gibson really believe the God had anything to do with giving an Academy Award to him?

He thought about suing some of those evangelist ministers, who said that Hurricanes, Earthquakes and Floods were Gods way of punishing people for things like Gay Marriage. What did he care who got married? He had two problems with a law suit: 1) The public figure defense; 2) Where would he find a trial lawyer in Heaven.

He then thought about doing a few minor acts. Go back to the old testament. Maybe Sarah Palin could get swallowed by a Whale. Rush Limbaugh could be turned into a pile of salt. But why do that to the Whale? And why triple the world’s salt supply, it could ruin economies and cause stokes.

So he was stuck. Things which he had nothing to do with would be God’s will. Athletes would continue to think that he took a rooting interest. Fanatics would continue to believe that they knew what he wanted, and that was to choose them over others who believe differently. World leaders would continue to believe that their wars were just. Bumper sticker manufacturers would profit off of his name. He decided that he had given man a conscience along with free will, he hoped that they used it.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
cathy_edgett
Feb. 7th, 2010 06:26 pm (UTC)
Let's hope we use our conscience as well as free will. Wouldn't that be loverly?

I can well imagine that God is tired. Good place to begin. I feel like offering him a pillow, blanket, and massage.
jellomarx
Feb. 7th, 2010 06:32 pm (UTC)
Just don't face east if a pitcher is throwing from the west.
cathy_edgett
Feb. 7th, 2010 06:43 pm (UTC)
Ack! Okay! Good advice! :)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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