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 There are two cliches often repeated about Jewish Holidays:

1) They're always late or early.   Think about that if they're always late or early what constitutes being on time?

2) They all have three generalities associated with them:
                       A)  We we persecuted!

                        B) We endured!

                         C) Let's Eat!

It's the last generality that I'm going to address today.    Any thinking person takes the stories of the bible with many grains of salt.   Nobody believes that Jonah was swallowed by a Whale.   Or if Adam and Eve only had sons, who gave birth to their grandchildren?

Today, I'm going to address another story in the Old Testament.   I'm not convinced that Moses actually crossed the Desert.   I propose that Moses was actually going from Massachusetts to Maine,   He actually crossed New Hampshire.   

Think about the consequences of my theory.   Imagine the culinary delights in lieu of the Chicken boiled past the point of recognition.   No more Gefilte Fish.   What by the way is a Gefilte?   No more brisket made of rubber!   No more Horseradish that melts your taste buds.

Many years ago, I went to Europe, at a Restaurant in Normandy,  I order Fiu De Mer.   Expecting a nice selection of seafood, I got Gefilte Fish.  It occurred to me that I had crossed an ocean to eat something that I would never eat at home.

In my version of passover we have Lobster.   After all that is what our forefathers ate.   We start the meal with a bowl of clam chowder.   New England Clam Chowder of course.

Now if I can only think of a reason that we can drink good wine not Manishevitz, which tastes like Merlot with a cup of sugar added.




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