This is a transcript of a recent Republican strategy meeting
With apologies to Sondheim and Bernstein, sung to the tune of Officer Krupke
Dear lovely Right Wing Annie,
I need for you to speak,
He's kicked us in the fanny
The outcome sure looks bleak.
Sarah called him lefty,
Of hope we bereft.
Annie Coulter, what have we got left!
Gee, Barack Obama, you’ve really made us fools;
We never thought we’d lose to the party of mules.
We resorted to defamation,
This time it didn’t work.
To the voters we are really Jerks!
We are Jerks!
We are Jerks, we are Jerks,
You see that nothing works!
We need help, cause nothing really works!
Rove: (Spoken) It’s too early to give up.
Newt: (Spoken) Who shall I turn to?
Rove: Just tell it to Hannity.
Dear Right wing, Mr. Hannity,
The Press is so unfair.
With such a left wing bias,
I haven’t got a Prayer.
The far right is too pious,
Now my campaign is a flop.
My friend, Sean! This has got to stop!
Mr. Speaker Gingrich, are you kidding me?
Just keep avoiding issues, and they’ll plainly see!
That he’s just a socialist with terrorist ties.
Don’t tell the truth, keep telling them the lies!
Keep telling lies!
We will lie, we will lie,
Tell a bold faced lie,
Like the great O’Reilly we will Lie.
Sean: (Spoken) In the opinion of the self proclaimed judge of who is a Great American, you are a Great American.
Newt: (Spoken) Hey, I got Hannity’s endorsement.
Rove: So take him to O’Reilly.
I can’t play family values, it isn’t gonna work,
My campaign is in trouble.
The New Speaker is a jerk,
He’ll leave us in the rubble.
The voters are berserk,
My friend Bill O. tell me what will work?
Dear Mr. Speaker, just follow my lead.
You choose Governor Palin, now tell her go breed.
Remember we’re Fair at Fox,
And if all else fails we’ll stuff the Ballot Box!
We’ll stuff the Box!
We’ll stuff the Box, we’ll stuff the Ballet Box,
We’ll stuff the Box, Box, Box,
We’ll listen to them all at Fox!
Rove: In my opinion, this President won't need get a second team. Go ask Rush!
Newt: Hey, I’m going to Rush!
Dear omniscient right wing leader,
They say I’m in the dump. I sent Sarah to the breeder,
Just to get a bump.
I’ll concentrate on swing states,
That’s what all agreed.
Ronald Reagan! Please don’t make me plead!
Mr. Speaker, just stick to the right.
I guarantee, my friend that he won’t put up a fight.
You should have listened to me, cause you knew where I stood;
Just try to convince them he is from the Hood!
He’s from the hood!
He’s from the hood, he’s from the hood!
Not our neighborhood!
Different from us, we are good!
The trouble is he's lefty.
He’s not good at being untruthful.
The trouble is he's not hefty.
He’s also far from youthful.
The trouble is he's failin’.
So next time we’ll run Palin.
Mr. Speaker, we got troubles of our own!
Gee, Speaker Gingrich,
You’ve blown your last chance,
It might have helped, had you known a little ‘bout finance.
Gee, Speaker Gingrich, We’re done with you now.
Gee, Speaker Gingrich,
Just say chow!