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Chapter III- Ginsburg retires

In 2013, Ruth Bader Ginsburg felt that she could no longer serve the country as a Justice of the Supreme Court. President Bachmann nominated former Texas Governor, Rick Perry to replace her.

The Senate now consists of three parties and two independents. There are 37 Democrats, 2 independent, Barry Samuels of Vermont, and Olympia Snowe of Maine who caucus with the Democrats. Snowe resigned the Republican Party, upon passage of the “Super Colossal Patriot Act.”
There are 43 Republicans, and 18 Christianicans. The vote for Perry went as expected 61-39.

Alaska Christianican Senator, Sarah Palin, stood and accused the Democrats of divisive behavior. She promised to immediately commence hearings in her “America first committee,” about the treasonous, and stated, “that from my window, I can see Senator Schumer, visiting the Russians.”

Senator Schumer was unavailable for comment, but his staff indicated that he would comment at his weekly Sunday evening Press conference.

With Justice Ginsburg’s retirement, the extreme Right had a solid majority on the court. When the issues of School Prayer and Abortion came up, long standing case law was overturned.

In the abortion decision, a 14 year old girl was denied access to a Nome, Alaska Planned Parenthood, and her mother arrested for child endangerment, when an angry group of Anti Abortion advocates, blocked the doors to the Alaskan facility. The group relied upon an Alaskan statute that said that, “people can use whatever means necessary to protect the safety of the unborn.”

The court in a 5-4 decision, Justice Perry writing the decision upheld the Alaskan Statute. The mother continues to serve 25 years to life. Justice Perry stated, ‘it has long been American tradition to value the sanctity of life, up to and including the date of birth.” Justices Roberts, Scalia, Thomas and Alito concurring,

Justice Thomas wrote a short concurring opinion, “There’s no place like Nome!”

Thus commenced the mass exodus of American Liberal to Canada.

Canada's New Immigration Problem

From the MANITOBA HERALD, Manitoba, Canada

January 10, 2014

“With a effect being felt of the Right Wing takeover of the United StatesGovernment, a flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

The Bachmann Presidency, has prompted the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hold down a job, hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night." I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Nesterenko, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. “He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I gave him some fresh warm goat milk he tossed his cookies and left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?' “

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Nesterenko erected higher fences, but the liberals dug under them. So he tried installing speakers that blast Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,"he said. “The liberals still got through but many were crying as they ran through the corn fields.”

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. “A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a drop of bottled water and wearing sandals. 'They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though.”

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Republican Majority establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny evolution, and actually work for a living. So much job training is needed it is cheaper to just put them in a motel and provide room service. At least they don't break equipment.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Red Skelaton and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. “If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age.” an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that these illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

”I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “but, how many lawyers, art-history and English majors does one country need? “


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Sep. 27th, 2011 09:16 am (UTC)
I've heard this joke before. Why don't you come to a labor union meeting and tell it?

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )



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