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Moses and Jesus out for the Night

There is a line outside the bar on West End Avenue,  but two robed men are able to walk to the front of the line.   The sign outside the door says: Playing, tonight only TWO LIVE JEWS!

Bouncer: Excuse me gentlemen, may I see some proof of age.

Both men pull out their Camel driver licenses.

Bouncer:  Your name is Moses.  What about a last name?  Who do you think you are Cher or Madonna?

Moses: I am  Moses brother of Aaron.

Bouncer:  Hank Aaron!  You don't look a thing like him.  What about this it say Birth date unknown?

Moses: I was born before the common era, there were no dates.

Bouncer:  What does that mean?    Does it mean that you were born before Rap Music?  You look old enough,  I'll let you in. Alright what about you, Jesus Christ?    Is that J silent?  Born on December 25 33 B.C.   How old is that I wasn't good in math?

Jesus: I a 2040 years old.

Bouncer: You should score big!  Let em in.

Both men enter and walk up to the bar.   After ordering 2 Manichevitz they're joined almost immediately by two young girls.  After introductions are made, we learn their names are Tiffany and Heather.

Tiffany:  So Mos that's a great outfit.  did you get it at Bloomingdales?   By the way what is that smell?

Moses:  I was shepherding the flock today.

Heather: Jesus, what sign were you born under.

Jesus: I was born December 25.

Heather: Oh, you're a Capricorn, just like Jesus.    Why don't we get out of here? We're going to go to the ladies room and then we'll go back to my place.

After the ladies leave for the restroom, Moses turns to Jesus with a look of alarm.

Moses:  Jesus, I can't go, I'm married.  What about you?  aren't you serious about Mary Magdalen?

Jesus:  Not really, Judas tells me she's been sleeping around.

To Be Continued....


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 25th, 2008 08:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you
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