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Now gather ‘round friends
cause I’ll tell you a tale
of the land full Umbrage and Gumption
with Druthers that sail.

Most in this land were of
oak or of pine
except for the Gumption
made of a wood so refine.
And the Umbrage were made
of the heaviest twine

My tale is a conundrum
not easily solved
it causes great battles
not often resolved.

In this land called Iota
The Druthers’ decreed
“We should have a quota
On the Umbrage we feed.”

It seemed that an Umbrage
and Gumption wanted to marry
despite that the Druthers
all wanted contrary.

Outside the Court
where they each said the vow
an Iota born Druther
said “ this, we should not allow.”

“Oh, I’m not a bigot.”
The head Druther averred.
What would follow from this
would sound so absurd.

“Please don’t make the assumption,
that I, The head brother Druther,
am Anti the Gumption.”

“I remember the time, when I was a lad
that my brother the Druther,
knew a Gumption named Brad.”

“We tried and we tried
by Druther Consumption
to convince Brad to convert
from being a Gumption.”

“But Brad just got Mad,
and a Gumption he’d stay
The Gumption are very
stubborn that way.”

“Now the Umbrage you see
are a difficult lot
they were part of that great
Ventriloquist’s plot.”

“You know what happened
the trouble they stirred.
They were lead by the
diabolical Mortimer Snerd.”

“To make a long story short
I stand in front of this court
for the proof’s in the puddin’
that this man who is wooden
does consort with our leader
the one made of cedar.
To conquer this land, long owned by the Druthers.
Their mothers and brothers all knew one anothers.”

“If I had my Druthers,
along with their brothers,
We would have the Gumption
accept the presumption
that they have too many rules,
like teaching Music in schools,
and safety in pools.”

“Once we took Umbrage
the rest would be simple
just like squeezing Aunt Bessie’s
big forehead pimple.”

“Now, we Druthers are known to obey Law and Order
So we’d kick all of the Umbrage back over the border.”

“So we’d be free Druthers
with no Government rules
All children would pray
wherever we choose.”

So the Druthers are here
made of Oak and of Pine
To prohibit this marriage
of those of cedar and twine.
is your guess and mine
but, I’m tired of writing.
and can no longer rhyme.



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