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Dr. Seuss's Passover Seders

Dr. Seuss's Passover Seders

The First Seder

I cannot eat bread
This feels like lead
I cannot go
My bowels are slow
Oh my god, Please let me know
for eight whole days
The food just lays
I eat a fish that swims in jell
No more Gefilte, I feel like hell
The chicken is boiled
The egg is spoiled
So let me ask question number five
Upon this food, how did we survive?
If I sneak mine to my dog Rover
I might just last one more Passover.

The second Seder

To continue our Passover thread
We will follow the route of the unleavened bread
Long ago it was mandated
That this poor soul matzo be castrated.
For in the soup as one recalls
Appear the remnants of his balls

Next we have the bitter Herbs
Oh my Stomach this disturbs
Then the child asks the questions four
As Elijah comes in the open door
“I’m not Elijah, you’re too kind
Your door was open, I’ll rob you blind.”

“I’ll take your Matzo and your wine
Tonight I shall eat mighty fine,
No thank you, no horse radish please
All it does is make me sneeze.”

With that our guest had left our home
And Murray went to use the phone
He first said to Stu,
I know what we have to do,
We’ve no choice my friend,
How much do you have to spend?”
He knew what would change a Jew's bad mood
So he ordered in some Chinese Food.

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