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New Yorker losses driver’s license, becomes pedestrian. Learns to say "asshole” in seventeen languages.

New York City is a melting pot. Nobody knows this better than lifetime New York Resident, Bruce Gettler. Gettler 56, recently lost his driver’s license and has been forced to become a Pedestrian.
“When you lose something as precious as your driver’s license, you learn to appreciate other things.” Said Gettler. For Gettler one of those other things was an ear for language. “As a Pedestrian it is often necessary to communicate with the Drivers. To politely tell them ‘hey, I’ve got the right of way.’” Gettler added. “How do you say, ‘Your Mother,’ in Spanish? Or ‘Hey, Asshole.” In Italian, or the all-important ‘Shithead’ in Russian.”

Gettler saw a need that wasn’t being fulfilled. He first approached the people at Berlitz, but they weren’t interested in marketing his computer program, “Pedestrian curses in seventeen languages.” So Gettler decided to market it himself. First he had to learn the languages.

Italian was easy. Having been a lifetime fan of Chico Marx, Gettler realized that all he had to do was to add a strategic “A” in the middle of a statement and use his hands. So, “Hey Asshole,” became “Hey Ass A Hole.” For Russian he realized that all he had to do was to add “ski” to the end of a word. “Shithead” became “Shitheadski.”

Joan Silverman, a resident of Forest Hills in the Borough of Queens, recently purchased the product says that “This has been invaluable, especially in Queens. Queens is the most ethnically diverse county in the Country. We need to learn to communicate with our neighbors. I can think of no better way.”



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January 2019


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