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The Sounds of Matzoh

To the Tune of The Sounds of Silence. Music by Paul Simon, words by Alan Idelowitz and Marc Sherman
Hello matzoh, my old friend
You constipate me once again
Because a bread that is not rising
Sits like lead in us every Spring
And the Answers to the questions
That were asked, must still remain
Until I take My Ex-Lax
In gassy cars we’re driving home
The pain inside, just makes me moan
Oh my God, I had another cramp
My wife says “dear you smell like a tramp.”
Now I regret the second helpings
Of chopped liver that I had at night
I need a dose of Ex-Lax
And in the bathrooms we all sit
Ten Thousand Jews can’t take a shit
Jews always talking about their bowels
“Honey when you’re done, please use guest towels.”
Dad is saying “I hope I remember this next year”
“You won’t dear.”
Just take a dose of Ex-lax
Fool am I, but you all know
Each year a rock inside me grows
Here are my words that I will say to you
“No more Matzoh for this backed up Jew”
But you say, that you’ve “heard this speech before.
And bellowed “I hope the stores have Ex-Lax.”
And I remember how we prayed,
About this Matzoh that just laid
I will take this as a sign of warning
Knowing how bad I will feel the next morning.
But next Passover, there’ll be lines to water closets
Which will crowd our all our Bubbe’s halls, cause natures calls
But till then, I need some Ex-Lax

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jellomarx
jellomarx

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