jellomarx (jellomarx) wrote,

The Trump White House PArt 1, Chapter 6 Protests Commence in Middle Eastern Countries



In Egypt, Syria and even Saudi Arabia Citizens began to protest.   The Saudi Arabian government has come under attack from its citizens for taking eight whole years to behead a convicted woman,. Numerous eye-witnesses accounts describe unruly mobs shouting, “Off with her head,” “Death to the United States” and “Let’s go, Mets,” following the announcement of the long-anticipated beheading of a Saudi Arabian woman.

Laila Hafiz was sentenced to death by beheading in 2008 after her Saudi employer accused her of cutting off his own head. The man’s completely uncorroborated, seemingly impossible claim was accepted by Saudi court as bulletproof evidence when he said, “An eye for an eye, a head for a head,” although Miss Hafiz claimed innocence by pointing to her accuser’s full, unharmed head from which he was speaking. Despite this witch-like trickery, it took almost eight years for the death sentence come to realization, irking many in the Saudi general public who have cried out for justice.

“The new regulations, which limit the defendant’s rights at trial, were supposed to speed up the beheading process,” said Saudi spokesman Said Habib Ishmael. “We don’t allow them witnesses, they serve as their own lawyer – though they cannot technically speak at trial – and they have the right to appeal, but we don’t really tell them how. I’m really sorry this is taking so long. I thought this thing was in the bag – and by ‘thing’ I mean this woman’s head.”

This resulted in an unexpected electronics revolution in Saudi Arabia.  The Saudis, in their desire to have taken steps to speed up the beheading process in the future. After decapitating the former minister of beheadings, the royal family commissioned Saudi Engineers, to develop the automatic Behead-O-Tron 5000 machine.  This machine is now considered state of the art in the industry.

We had to do something, because this was taking way too long” said Shahid Jamil, one of the protesters. “By the time my kids get to see it, they’ll be all grown up and then it’s just not as special. The magic’s gone, you know?”

Mr. Jamil went on to say that if the lethal display takes much longer to stage, he risks having to think about the terrible condition of civil liberties in his country.


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