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Chapter 10

The United Nations

While Iran is considering Israel's offer to assist in the launching of their President into space and Saudi Arabia is inventing a new beheading machine, the United Nations was debating elevating third world nations to second world nations.

On Februay 11, 2016, at the meeting of the General Assembly of the United Nations yesterday, the Ambassador, from Swaziland, who represented the Third World Treaty Organization (TWTO), demanded that the United Nations pass a resolution dictating that, “in the absence of a True and Distinct Second World, we should now be referred to as Second World nations, and that Israel should be sanctioned.”

Speaking  in his native Swazi, Ambassador Obunda, addressed the Secretary General by stating, “the surviving delegates of last month’s meeting of the Third World Treaty Organization, demand that since the collapse of the former Soviet Union, there are really just a first and a third world. What’s the second? I don’t know.”

The Ambassador, spoke of the indignities of being classified as “third world”.   “America, where we meet today, is a first world country. Last week I crossed the river to meet some of your countrymen in New Jersey. I had never been to New Jersey before. To me that was a fourth world country. We demand a raise.”

The was plenty of dissention from within the organization, there was significant disagreement among the nations of the TWTO about the official language the resolution would be written in. Abdul Mohammad Joseph, the Ambassador from Lebanon, confirmed the speculation, explaining that “at first we couldn’t reach a majority. Then it occurred to me that if we eliminated two countries, we would have a majority. So we beheaded the delegates from Vanuatu and Uganda. "

The General Assembly’s vote did not appear to be a close one, due to the ever-popular language of sanctioning Israel. The Russian Ambassador, Sergei Fairenov, addressed the General Assembly by saying, “The Russian People are proud to now be a first world nation, and welcome the nations of the former third world into the second world.

The team of representatives from various countries engaged in a heated debate for close to five hours. The Polish ambassador, Lech Kowalski, addressed the General Assembly using the vitriolic language that has come to characterize his appointment. “The hubris that was demonstrated today will be taken into consideration when my country votes. To go from Third World to Second World you must demonstrate more than a missing world.”

The usually sedate General Assembly has had sporadic moments of violence. The Mexican Ambassador was shot and wounded when he tried to cross into the American Ambassador’s space. Paper airplanes, which were aimed for the Afghan delegation, landed instead on the Pakistani delegation.

Finally at 7 P.M EST the American Ambassador, Susan Rice, stood to cast her vote for the United States. “As a permanent member of the United Nations Security Council The United States intends to exercise its veto power.”



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