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One girl, Two girl, Early girl, Late girl

 Apologies to Dr. Seuss

One girl, Two girl, Early girl, Late girl

Pretty girl, Ugly girl, Older girl, Younger girl.

This one had an over-bite.

This one drank beer that was lite.

Hell! The memories have become hazy.

Well, some complained and some were lazy

Some were loud and some demure.

It’s hard to believe,

Some were happy and at least one depressed.

Some dressed well, but too few got undressed.

When asked why their still dressed,

they always answered marry me and you’ll see the rest!

One too thin and one too chubby.

The chubby one always brought her bubby!

One girl had a curl.

One had a tough brother named Earl.

With that one many oddities would unfurl.

One girl’s dad thought I was a bum.

Me a bum? Oh well she would run with another son!

Oy vey! Gevald! Oy vey! Gevald!

Their mother’s cooked with too much salt!

Some had long legs some had trunks.

Some left me for Lawyers, a couple for punks.

Why did this happen such a long time ago?

One thing I know, is that many go through this tho.

We love em and leave em.

They love us and leave us.

Some leave in a taxi and some in a bus.

One wasn’t Jewish, I told my Mother.

Big Mistake, she said it’s time to find another.

I said "But Mom look at that body!

My God, she’s a ten!"

She said, "But son I just spoke to her,

she’s got the brain of a hen!"

I said, "I know that she isn’t the swiftest,

but I can learn to live with it."

She said, "That the looks will go,

and you’ll be stuck with a Twit."

Sad! Sad! Sad!

Did you ever date a girl who was bad!

Boy can a bad girl make you glad!

I’ll bet that you did that as a lad.

She was bad until I met her Dad, so Sad, Oy...

I guess that that was just a fad.

A fad with a girl who was bad

until I met her dad what a cad.

What’s my name? My name is Jello.

All things considered, I’m not such a bad fellow.

I was just a little choosy. I was just a little picky.

And I got out when things got sticky.

But once I was caught, I was caught for life.

For now I have myself a wife.

She’s smarter than me, I can’t fool her at all.

Every time I try, I’m in for a fall.

My life is so different, I’ll tell you why:

she won’t let me keep the house like a sty.

So who is Jello? What does he do?

I’ll tell you, but you have to wait for this story to be through!

Most who know me call me a friend,

It’s a role that there’s no need to defend!

It’s Real Estate Law that he has done,

he’d rather do something that’s more fun

So its stories he rather be telling,

hopefully nobody checks his spelling.

But Dr. Seuss did it better, and Dr. Seuss first,

so he’ll continue in law to satisfy his thirst.

But every so often, he’ll dream that someone

will read his silly ditty,

and say "this is really quite witty."

But until that day comes along,

he can dream about it all night long.




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January 2019


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