jellomarx (jellomarx) wrote,

They Often Call Him Speedo

Ronnie had planned to go wild.   It was his first trip to Club Med.   He had heard about the drinking games,  the casinos, but mostly the wild women and the nude beach.

He had packed his Speedo thong, but figured he wouldn't get much of a chance to wear it.  He had planned to spend this week in the buff.  

He prepared for it, by having his back waxed, and having his comb over just right so that it covered his bald spot.

He planned on taking it slowly, sizing up the women at dinner and moving in for a kill at the beach the next day.   He was very confident.  His friend Craig had told him how easy the women were at Club Med.   He thought that he'd fit right in wearing his thong.  He was a bit upset when he realized that he had forgotten to have his butt waxed.   He hoped that nobody would notice.   He had exercised diligently in preparation for this trip.

The first day at dinner he sat with a German couple and some girls from Jersey.  He knew before asking that they were from Jersey because of the accents, the abundance of eye shadow and the fact that they were discussing exit numbers.

Eventually the topic of the nude beach came up.  The girls giggled.  They said that they'd go topless, but not nude.  Ronnie blushed with the image and swore that he'd look for them the next day.
Ronnie went back to his room and started to unpack.  He suddenly realized that there were items in the bag that he hadn't put there.  His mother was at it again.  He swore that he'd move out by his next birthday, his fortieth.  He accepted the fact that she had packed a heavy sweater for him.   This is often needed near the Equator.  But did she have to pack the prunes?


The next day he got up early and went to the beach.  He figured that since he really didn't know anybody yet, then this was the ideal day to go to the nude beach.   He put on his Speedo, loaded himself with sun tan lotion,  but forgot that there were going to be parts of his body that had never seen the sun before.

He thought that he looked great in the thong.    In reality had Neal Armstrong seen that moon he would have planted the American flag and stated that this was "one small step for a man a disgusting sight for mankind!"

He staked out his spot, gradually got up the nerve to take off his Speedo.

What't this a couple of beautiful naked ladies were walking his way.   They said something, in French to him.   He didn't understand a word of French, they moved on.  He turned to the woman on the next blanket, "Do you speak French?"

"Yes, I do."

"Do you know what they said?"

"Yes, they said that looks like a Penis, only smaller."
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