jellomarx (jellomarx) wrote,
jellomarx
jellomarx

The Suspension of Realtorality

 "Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

 
The great words of Emma Lazarus.  It occurs to me when reading these words on this auspicious day, that nowhere does it say 'Give us your Realtors."    Do you think that Ms. Lazarus omitted this wretched group on purpose?

This group of Bohemians, whose sole talent is to walk into a house, which they've never seen before, and say, "this is the kitchen," actually think that they are serving a role in society.

Now clearly many of you are now thinking,  "his hypocrisy knows no bounds!"    I acknowledge that in this case it is true.   I have amassed my "small fortune" by the referrals of these Willy Loman's of real Estate.

Yesterday an irate client called me asking why I didn't tell him that the other Attorney had rejected the contingency clause that we requested in the contract.  Why did he have to hear it from the Realtor, when the other Attorney told my secretary?  There are at least three problems with this statement. (1)  The other Attorney was out of town; (2)  I no longer have a secretary; (3)  When the other Attorney returned, he agreed on the clause.

This is not an isolated incident.  Approximately once a week,  I get a call from a client complaining that per this paragon of veracity,  I was the reason for the delay in the deal.   I then have to explain to my client that they first have to find a house before they can close.

I can't tell you why,  these charlatans in stretch pants and bad toupees feel it necessary to lie.  Maybe it's the logical extension of the old Woody Allen joke,  "Those who can't do,teach.  Those who can't teach, teach Gym,.  Those who can't teach Gym, sell Real Estate."

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