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The date October 28, 2020
The place: The White House
The Event:  The Enactment of the 40th Amendment to the Constitution,  making Slatspeak the official language of the United States.   I'm Anderson Cooper

The Amendment reads as follows:  There shall be no other language recognized as the language of the people of the United States besides Slatspeak.   Any official communication of the United States Government shall be in Slatspeak.

It's a fairly simple amendment and surprisingly not too controversial.  For the official description of Slatspeak we go to White House Correspondent Brittany Spears.   Brittany can you hear us?

Oh My God, like yes,  Slatspeak is like, you know, the language of my peeps.   It takes the coolest parts of slang and combines it with the most fantabulous parts of netspeak.

Brittany, what are schools going to  about textbooks.

Anderson, be cool, we haven't used textbooks in a gazillion years. All you need to know is like in Wikepedia.

But Brittany, Wikepedia has been known to be wrong.  There was that controversy last year, where it was printed in Wikepedia that Abraham Lincoln played for the Knicks.

Didn't he?  Like who cares, that was just snark to chase off the trolls.

President Rosie O'Donnell is running for reelection.  Could this be a political move on her part to gain the vote of those under 40.

Dunno,  but didn't you just love the way she called Ivanka Trump a lurker in the last debate.  She so totally has my vote.

What about the economy.  Isn't reprinting all of the signs on the interstate highways so their in Slatspeak, going to be a drain on the economy.

LOL,  who cares about the economy,  this is our time now.  Like bye.

Thank you Brittany for that enlightening report.

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