The National Enquirer, September 1, 2008
The long standing rumor that Sarah Palin is five months pregnant with Bigfoot’s child was confirmed today by an anonymous source close to both families. When asked for comment both the Palin and the Foot families did not respond.
This development is especially surprising because of Mr. Foot’s outspoken opposition to the right to bear arms. "Look, I’ve been hunted my entire life, you’d be opposed to it also. How would you feel if it read ‘The Right to Arm Bears.’ Then I’d bet you’d think differently." Foot was recently quoted as saying.
The reaction around the political world is mixed. Syndicated, Liberal talk show host Randy Rhodes was quoted as saying, "Come on, this is clearly a right wing conspiracy to repopulate the Bigfoot population, and get them removed from the endangered species list. Then the Republicans are free to drill in Montana as they’ve always wanted."
"My friends," said Conservative pundit , Rush Limbaugh, "Liberals will spin this however they wish, my understanding is that in the dark, she mistook Mr. Foot, for her very hairy husband"
Presumptive Republican Presidential candidate, John McCain said, "Now this shows you the character of Sarah. She never even considered aborting the child. Furthermore, I think that with our help, Big can be convinced to vote Republican and help us carry the great state of Montana."