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Mattressgate


Two of Sarah Palin’s closest aides were arrested the night of her nomination for pulling the Tag off of a mattress in Macy’s Department Store in downtown Anchorage. The two, whose names are being withheld, at first claimed to be working for the Obama campaign. They were immediately booked and released on their own recognizance. Appearing for the alleged perpetrators, at the arraignment, which took place less than 30 minutes of their arrest was famed GOP attorney, Justin Case.

The question that immediately arose was how did counsel know to be in Anchorage at the time of the arrest. Through the investigative efforts of Washington Post Reporters, Woodstein and Burnwood, it has been learned that this is one in a series of dirty tricks allegedly perpetrated by the McCain/Palin team to discredit the Democrats.

The famed reporting team uncovered the following evidence:

Before giving his keynote address the lifts were stolen from Dennis Kucinich’s shoes.

John Edwards’ personal barber was missing before an appointment in Iowa. Forcing Edwards to get his haircut at a local Supercuts.

Hillary Clinton’s pant suit was stolen in Los Angeles. She was forced to buy a polyester suit at a local K-Mart.

A false rumor was started that the Estate of Moe Howard of The Three Stooges was suing Christopher Dodd for stealing Mr. Howard’s hairstyle.

When reached for comment senator Joseph Biden said, "I’d like to know what the Governor knew and when she knew it."

Neither Senator McCain nor Governor Palin could be reached for comment.

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jellomarx
jellomarx

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