If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
- Dorothy Parker
“As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.”James Thurber
I hate women because they always know where things are.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? George Carlin
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER Groucho Marx
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.Steven Wright