jellomarx (jellomarx) wrote,

West Wing Story Part 5 The Running Mate

Type your cut contents here. 

It started as Romeo and Juliet.

Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim made it into West Side Story.

The Republicans are trying to make it into West Wing Story.

Here is Part 1.


 BUSH: (Spoken) Against the Dems we need every man we got.

ROVE: (Spoken) The Maverick ain’t one of us.

BUSH: Cut it, Rove boy. I and Maverick are the leaders of the Reps.

ROVE: Well, he acts like he don't wanna belong.

CHENEY: Who wouldn't wanna belong to the Reps!

ROVE: Maverick don't vote with us all the time.

CHERTOFF: What about the day we clobbered Medicaid?

RICE: Which we couldn't have done without Maverick.

CHENEY: He saved my ever-lovin' neck!

BUSH: Right! He's always come through for us and he will now.

When you're a Rep,
You're a Rep all the way
From your first talk with God
Til the Feds take you away.

When you're a Rep,
If you’re caught in the can,
waiving hands all around,
We’ll run fast as we can!

The rich are never alone,
The Dems are feeling disconnected!
The White House is our home: Congress should be disinfected,
Our money’s protected!

The White House is ours
With a capital R,
You can keep your Ivory Towers
We’ve lowered the Bar.
You can keep your big Cars,
We are Political Stars!

(Spoken) I know Maverick like I know me. I guarantee you can count him in.
ROVE: In, out, let's get crackin'.

RICE: Where you gonna find Clinton?

BUSH: He’s in Kennebunkport with my parents.

BOLTEN: But Maine went Blue in 2004.
BUSH: (innocently) I'm gonna make nice there! I'm only gonna challenge him.

RICE: Great, Daddy-O!

BUSH: So everybody dress up sweet and sharp.

ALL (sing)
Oh, when the Reps go to a State that is Blue,
We'll act like patriots through and through!
Hannity and Limbaugh will perpetuate our lies,
The Dems won’t explore, they’ll just ignore our unethical ties!

BUSH: (Spoken) Hey. Cool. Easy. Sweet. Meet Maverick and me at ten. And walk tall!

RICE: We always walk tall!

CHENEY: We're Reps!

ROVE: The greatest!

ROVE and CHENEY (sing)
When you're a Rep,
You can own a gas guzzler,
Call the Dems, the damn elitists
How we fool them is a puzzler!
When you're a Rep,
You're the richest of men:
Little cash, your excluded;
Why earn one Mil, When there’s Ten!

The Reps create fear,
Our Swift Boats are connected!
The Dems'll will lose this year
'Cause no Liberal’s gonna get elected!

We’re well protected!
Here come the Reps
We’ll fix this election,
We’ve done it before,
They’ll never make the connection!

Here come the Reps:
Social programs we detest!
The rich get taxes cut,
Who cares about the rest!

We're claim the White House,
For Coulter and O’Reilly!
We'll control who’ll be your spouse,
We’ll win it oh so slyly.
And we ain't kiddin'!

Here come the Reps,
Yeah! We’ll continue what we’ve started!
Ev'ry Dem is going to lose
This is not for the Fainthearted!




My Time!
Right now
Rudy’s act just will not play;
The Right will stay away,
Soon as he shows.
The New York Elitism in his eye,
swat him like a fly,
He the first one that goes!

My Time?
Huckabee's way out of touch,
Independents don’t like him much,
He’ll fall for free.
I got a feeling it’ll come down to two,
My time is due,
West Wing’s waiting for me!

My time? Yes, it could.
Thompson's droning, he’s stiff as wood,
I’ll be at the gate!
Thompson’s droning, and he’s in show biz,
He’ll just fizz
The others don’t rate!

When they vote, I’m a lock,
got a tingle, Paul’s a schlock,
There’s not even a match!
Surge is working, or so I’ll say, then by June;
They’ll play my tune,
The rest I’ll dispatch!

Better warn her,
Mitt Romney can’t deliver,
He sends a quiver
To me!
It’s my time! What a thrill.
I will call Medicaid a Socialist bill,
The right will be there!

Terrorism, Elitism we will cry,
I’m your guy, The left thinks I’m a square!
So start your drumming,
Cause I’m the second coming!
My time!
I’ll forget those who teach,
I’ll slander and call it freedom of speech,
America First.. .





Lieberman . . .
The most conservative Dem I have heard:
Lieberman, Lieberman, Lieberman, Lieberman . . .
All of my claims of Bipartisanship in a single word . .
Lieberman, Lieberman, Lieberman, Lieberman . . .
I just got endorsed by Joe Lieberman,
And suddenly his vote
Has taken a new note
To Jews.
I've just got endorsed by Joe Lieberman,
And suddenly I hear
Yiddish in my ear
Oy Vey!
If it works, I’ll sing Hava Nigila,
If it fails, I’ll have a Tequila.

I'll never stop thanking Joe Lieberman!

The most conservative Dem I have heard.







White House

Chicago, Illinois,
You frozen city . . .
City of my Husband Barack.
Always the Cubs losing 
Always the Mayor is schmoozing . . .

Chicago, Illinois . . .
Once my home city . .
City Capone called home.
Always the snows falling,
Always the wind is a calling . . .
And the Graft is flying,
And the Officials are lying,
And the slums aren’t dying.
I live in a suburb of New York City
When I win, I’ll miss it, but have no pity!

Why should you govern America!
My Husband should govern America!
It’s time for us in America
Get on the Bus in America!

I’d like to live in the White House.

Please take the tour, wear a nice blouse.

The Rose Bushes I hear are in full bloom.

The other Bushes I hope will leave soon!

Limousine drives me to White House,
Someone else cleans in the White House,
There are no liens on the White House,
By all means come to visit the White House!

I'll buy my outfits from Dior.

I heard the same from Tipper Gore.

The children will take a limo to school.
As long as it’s in Illinois, that’s cool.

How will I run the White House?
Plenty of fun in the White House;
Won’t carry a gun in the White House.
The house in Chappaqua is a White House!

I'll be a champion of the poor.

Soon enough, your name will be obscure!

I'll see that they get Health Care.

I tried that, you haven’t a prayer.

I want to sleep in the White House!
Hardly a peep in the White House
There’s still a creep in the White House,
He’s the black sheep of the White House!

I think you’ll end up back in New York.

I can’t wait for the Champagne to uncork.

The Country will throw us a great parade!

I’m afraid that you’re living a great charade!




Win, win, gotta win,
Just win, boy!
Gotta slander, with no candor,
Be Sure you win, boy!
Forget the truth,
'Cause man, you’re no youth
You’re short on Bread.
Spend it wisely use your head,
Don’t be uncouth, boy!

Win, win, gotta win,
Just win, boy!
Lie em, eye em, and deny em.
Forget the facts, boy!
Go Mav, go,
They’ll not have heard.
It will never will have occurred,
That you’re a fool boy!

Just win, boy!


MAV: (Spoken) I, Maverick nominate thee, Sarah . . .

SARAH: (Spoken) I, Sarah, accept thee...

MAV: For richer, for richer . . .

SARAH: In sickness . . .

MAV: To obey. . .

SARAH: I’m not so sure about that one . . .

MAV: From each sun to each moon . . .

SARAH: For six months at a time? From now to forever . . .

SARAH: Till death make me President.

MAV (Sings)
Now our minds are one mind,
Now our brains are one brain,
Now our thoughts one last thought:
Only Creationism from here on will be taught



Make of the states red states
take me away from the Bering Straits.

Now we run, soon we reign
One mind, one brain;
Even Obama can't stop us now.

Make of the states red states,
From here on we’re running mates.
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