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The Last Supper

Little is known about the conversation that took place at the Last Supper. Recently Archeologists uncovered a written transcript of a portion of the conversation. You are the first to see that transcript.

Jesus: This bread is flat. You know how this stuff binds me up.
Judas: It’s Passover. We have to eat this stuff. I don’t like it any more than you.
Jesus: This wine. It’s all sugar. Who makes this stuff?
Judas: Some guy named Manischewitz.
Jesus: Do me a favor, don’t buy this stuff. He’ll be out of business in a week.
Judas: Look, If you don’t like this, why don’t you start your own religion.
Jesus: I wanted to talk to you about that. I’ve already discussed it with Peter, Paul and Mary.
Judas: That’s why their bags are packed and they’re ready to go.
Jesus: They’re standing there outside my door. Already. I’m so lonesome, I could cry, but the dawn is breaking. It’s early morn.
Judas: The Camel’s waiting, he’s chewing the lawn. Tell me, what are you going to call this religion?
Jesus: I was thinking, because of my profession, how about the Carpenters?
Judas: No, that’s too close to you.
Jesus: What about the Christians?
Judas: Why must it be named after you?
Jesus: It’s catchy. I was a marketing major after all. Look at how many tables and chairs I sold after that Temple incident.
Judas: Well, I’ll tell you, I don’t think it’ll sell. I know some of the others are questioning it too.
Jesus: Like who?
Judas: They’re quiet about it but Paul, Simon...
Jesus: So, I should worry about the Sounds of Silence? I’ll send them Homeward Bound.
Judas: I’m a little tired. Can we discuss this in the morning? Let me give you a kiss good night.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
cathy_edgett
Dec. 4th, 2008 02:24 pm (UTC)
Oh, good one!! Clever are you!!! My morning smile is alight!!
jellomarx
Dec. 4th, 2008 02:50 pm (UTC)
I'm always afraid when I write something Biblical that it might offend someone. But I figured, it isn't every day that I get to reference Peter, Paul & Mary.
cathy_edgett
Dec. 4th, 2008 03:32 pm (UTC)
I think Jesus himself would love and appreciate this one. I always picture him with a sense of humor, something many of his "followers" seem to have forgotten.

There can't be anyone who has had a message more distorted than Jesus. I saw a show one time on the historical Jesus. He was most likely married, probably to Mary Magdelene, and being a carpenter in those days was a good job, and he was probably well-trained in that by his father who would have passed on the livelihood. Anyway, I think it is important to take all of it as "lightly" as possible and each find our own "truth" in whatever ways we can. Thank you for offering a delightful way!
growingoldest
Dec. 4th, 2008 04:12 pm (UTC)
Oh, for Christ's sake, my friend, don't you know Jesus spoke Spanish?!! Jeez...
jellomarx
Dec. 4th, 2008 04:15 pm (UTC)
I had it translated. And Peter,Paul and Mary sounds terrible in spanish.
growingoldest
Dec. 4th, 2008 04:21 pm (UTC)
H'Ave a Maria, you'll feel better....:-)
qilora
Dec. 4th, 2008 09:47 pm (UTC)
MUAHAHAHAH!!


priceless!
jellomarx
Dec. 4th, 2008 09:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I really wasn't sure about this one.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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